T*S*E Rant ~ Movie Madness!

 First, let me start with this quote from Tumblr…..

A PERFECT example of how movies are today.
REALLY stretching for ideas, aren’t they?

Whether the scripts been beaten to death that you can actually predict what’s gonna happen {M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village, Just Wright staring Queen Latifah},

To remaking the classic kid movies or making classic novels into Live Action {Beastly [WTSF?!], Snow White [how many was that? Three?], The Great Gatspy [didn’t get this shit when I was forced to read it in High School, what makes you think I can follow it now?!]},

To redoing the storyline so it SEEMS to be different everytime {ALL Marvel and DC Comic movies except The Hulk, Hansel & Gretel, Jack the Giant Killer [formally known as Jack and the Beanstalk]},

Or making the sequels a re-introduction/back story {The Little Mermaid [Aerial’s Beginnings], Monsters Inc. [sadly, the new one’s about Mike and Sully’s college years]};

This topic apparently has to be addressed because it’s just annoying nowadays.

I like to call this Movie Madness :P
….and that’s what it basically is!

I mean, there are SO many great stories out there {not just written by me ;) } that are very creative and thought provoking; and yet they STILL go for the ones that made money the first go around and figured that they’ll make 3 times as much if they “change a couple of phrases and turn the ending from ‘flowery’ to ‘cryptic’”.
Are we so retarded that they think that we won’t notice {—-don’t answer that}?

Now there ARE some good ones out there that aren’t so bad, but that list is PRETTY short.
However, there are a few that I have an issue with.
As you can see, I have the trailers underneath each one; I don’t guarantee that they will be there for long as YT can be unpredictable.
If you have not seen them, do it now.

Here we go, MY top three (3) movie flops~

THE PURGE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0LLaybEuzA

I saw this trailer so many times that I became psychologically ill to the point where some nights I’m scared to go to bed.
And I live on the second floor!
I know this is fiction and whatnot, but it still is possible that the government may do this kind of shit in the future. Maybe not in this decade, but STILL——it’s out there.
I mean you can now print out your own working hand gun nowadays, I wouldn’t put it past them.
To this I say:
“If America does this once EVERY year, I’m taking my ass outta this country and moving to Canada!”

CLOUDY W/ A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5oCRxT-UCo

Now, I’m not knocking the first one.
It had a lot of creativity and got the kids to believe in the “what if” and “dare to dream” scenarios——
but they should have stopped at that.
Apparently, that machine that was supposed to end world hunger created a new species of life THAT’S FREAKING EDIBLE!!
No lie!
You got actual PB+J fish swimmin’ around, a carnivore that’s a giant taco {new ad character for Taco Bell?}, and bad puns….all in the span of 2 minutes.
Needless to say, I’m skipping this one.

EPIC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJVkoq_wK80

Really people…..stop already!
I know the younger generation don’t know about it, but please! This is OBVIOUSLY a cross of “Ferngully: The Last Rainforest”, “Honey, I shrunk the kids” and “Thumbelina”.
….did they really think we wouldn’t see the similarities?
It’s also a revamp of “Rise of the Guardians” since the whole movie was using computer graphics as well as the same style.
Man——what happened to the good old days when a work of art was created through the use of a pen and paper? But seriously, this is the result of corporations taking all originality, rolling it up and lighting it as a cigar.

This is what they did for this movie:
From “Ferngully” – changed the hero to a heroine/ leave the bit about the forest but minimize the ‘human’ factor,

From “Honey, I shrunk the kids” – Have a wacked out parental figure {i.e. Dad} obsessed with the ‘unexplainable’,

From “Thumbelina” – The ‘royal’ is now a ‘soldier’,

From all three – the ‘love interests’.


Before closing this, one last thing~
Is it too much to actually END a movie series?

Some I don’t mind so much like Fast and the Furious 6, but there are others that SAY they’re gonna end it but leave that BIG, STEAMY pile of —— do I really need to say it at this point?
It’s been a while, but the biggest offenders are as follows:

The Mummy {Why make a third w/o the original Evelyn in it?}

Transformers {The second was bad enough and I couldn’t even remember most of the key points in the third cuz it droned on about the side stories between the humans that wasn’t even all that relevant. Now there’s a fourth?! God KNOWS what that’s about —— Sam’s great-grandkids?}

War of the Worlds {the original was crap, and guess what? Remaking it didn’t do a DAMN thing to improve it :P }

Final Destination {call me crazy——but didn’t the fourth one had the title “THE Final Destination”? Why is there a 5^th one? O.o}


Well, I would press on but I went over the page limit enough for this post.
As always, any questions will be answered on Tumblr.

Don’t forget, we’re on Twitter as well :)

So long for now.

ALWAYS keep it real!