T*S*E Rant ~ Crushes

I know I said in my last Mini-Rant that I’ll be revealing the shortcuts to raising one’s Credit Score; and I SWEAR to you I’m still working on that but this subject I need to get out.

This is usually Frankie D’s thing {my co-host if any of y’all remember her}, however this is something that needs to go in depth at some point…..

I, for one; will be the first person to tell you that I’m VERY insecure.
Been “husky” since I reached puberty and have been in the minority {if at all on radar} when it comes to the opposite sex. So I have very little experience with guys in general. This has caused me to have The “Princess” Effect ---- for those who aren’t hip to the term it means that I still believe in the Prince Charming and that ANY guy that shows the SLIGHTEST interest in me that he must be “the one”.

Yeah, dudes…..
Run for the hills if you see me in your hometown.

I also realize it’s due to the fact that I didn’t date that I have these thoughts; and of course I’m not the only one suffering from this disease that repeatedly hurts us vulnerable women {and men} just looking for that “soul mate”.

The reason I bring this up?
While there is no cure for it, one can create ways to avoid The “Princess” Effect when talking to a guy/girl you like and not fall for them when they just wanna know where the bathroom is ;)

Here’s how I cope~
Though you want that ‘perfect’ mate to appear, you gotta know that it takes time. Start first with getting to know YOU before you think about a relationship.

Example: I know I can get easily jealous {hello….insecure}, so any guy I work with is strictly off-limits. I would say that goes for your school chums but reality check ---- you got time to find them at other places if you’re not a social butterfly. I also have a temper when I feel like someone’s trying to embarrass me in any way or verbally fight me on a subject I KNOW I’m right on {and believe me, if I did the research on it or been doing it since I was 4 [i.e. writing] then I’m gonna fight you tooth and nail!}

Once you have an idea of ‘you’ ---- cuz you’re gonna find out later that there are parts of you that you yourself didn’t know existed~
Figure out what you will tolerate; I know it’s part of ‘getting to know you’ however we’re putting it in a separate category b/c you’ll be using this tool towards finding your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Example: I’m not immune to ‘crushes’ even at 30, but I’m smart about it. There were times that I would’ve broken my own rule about no dating at the workplace {I’ll let you figure out why I’m against it on your own} ---- until I got to know the guys in question. One was a Narcissist and another was fiercely loyal to God and his sister.

I know my personality is passive at times AND I have depression, while having self-confidence is important there’s also a thing called modesty. I may not need to be reminded each day that I’m beautiful, I don’t need to have a Vanity Smurf in my midst either making myself feel even worse like I don’t measure up in some way {they don’t say it, but they show it by their actions that they think that they ARE better than everyone else}.
As for dude #2, it’s great that he puts God and family first in his mind, but over time {if you’re like me} you’ll want the guy to pay you SOME regard and not jump every time the next of kin snap their fingers. I saw this kind of loyalty in myself at a time when it was me and my father against the world, and in some ways because of that; it killed him physically and me emotionally to the point that I no longer trust ANY of my daddy’s relatives. Long story short, I know where this guy’s gonna end up and I WILL NOT be going to that place again.

And lastly~
Show some more patience!
You waited this long {some more than others}, don’t fall into the trap of ‘since my friends have a significant other….’ or ‘the clock is ticking’.
You’ll KNOW when it’s time to get your feet wet or explore options.

Example: I haven’t had a date since ’08 however I look at the dudes I had attracted. I’m adding a couple more things to the list of “what I WON’T tolerate”.

BIG ISSUSE! = I maybe Black but I don’t run on CP time; even if that day I’m just gonna sit around the house and let dishes pile up ---- that’s still MY time, so if your ass says you’re gonna meet me somewhere at 12pm; YOU BETTER BE THERE! I don’t let this kind of shit slide unless you don’t have my digits to call or text me to let me know you’re running late or cancelling all together.

DEAL BREAKER #2 = I KNOW I’m being played when a guy don’t talk to me from 6 months to a year and a half and call me up like we just talked a week ago. I look naïve but it’s THOSE kinds of people you don’t wanna fuck with.
Telling me that you lost your cell in a basement? This generation can’t function w/o digital contact, that’s number one.
Number two, you, dude; have a 12-year-old daughter {I normally leave those alone for 2 reasons: Baby Mommas and pending stage of puberty [cuz most kids are used to “Mommy and Daddy” not “Daddy and new chick taking Daddy’s love and affection” or “Mommy and new dude trying to take over the house”]}, how the hell is the school gonna contact you in emergencies if they can’t reach you?!

DEAL BREAKER #3 = Since I have fierce loyalty to people that don’t screw me over in some way {my rule book has A LOT of complexity in it}, I expect the same. Thank GOD I haven’t done time for mutilation {not murder cuz NOBODY’s worth you messing up your future}, but if I find my man cheating; there’s no going back for him. That’s it! I look at it like this: there’s something the other girl/guy had that I didn’t that you wanted, so there you go. Also, once a cheater ---- always a cheater; IF I take you back, how do I know you won’t cheat on me two weeks later? Two years later? Two KIDS later?

My point in this is that going through all this has given me clarity and I know that in this stage of my life I don’t want it right now ---- plus I feel like I don’t have anything to “bring to the table”. The only time I left MD on my own was when I had quit my Ma and Nana in that blowout I had with them; I know I wanna be well-rounded even if it’s only having some knowledge of other states.

So let me wrap this up for y’all neatly~
Do ‘you’ before getting in a relationship, YOU decide when you’re ready for the dating scene; and make your “Hot or Not” list for personality traits that you can live with.
Don’t forget your deal breakers and be sure to STICK to them firmly, letting the guy/girl get away with them will be a disaster in the end.

Remember, the one’s I’ve listed are entirely my own due to my experiences and beliefs. Feel free to use them as a structured guide but try to come up with some that’s your own, k? :D

Stay Tuned to T*S*E for more rants and bear with me as I put together the “Portfolio of Credit Scores”.

T*S*E Rant ~ Diet Fads

Hiya, fans ;)
This discussion hits most Americans…..Diet Fads.

For years, I hated the way I looked. I envisioned having a fun house mirror in all angles in my room. I remember my high school experience when it came to “fitting in”, and it was no wonder I didn’t bother to make friends in certain circles; and the last time I was close to an average weight was when I was five.  My past motivations were to get into a size eight to wear trendy clothes and land a boyfriend{….Hey, don’t laugh; at the age of fourteen that was everything! ;) }. To clear things up now, NEVER use the “man” card as your reference to help you slim down and the same goes for the big men reading this when finding a woman.  It’s a waste of time and heartache to try and change for the sake of a future mate who won’t even look at you until one has lost more than a fraction of a pound.


If that has happened already, ask yourself this~
where was all this attention when you were eating fried chicken morning, noon, and night? —- Think about it.

Also, the most favorable of motivation killers for me is the co-workers who love to give out advice, just to give meaning in their lives. I have been through it all, most of them involve giving me self-help books and tapes but the rest was just flapping their gums.
One of my pet peeves when concerning the ‘battle of the bulge’ was other hefty people giving advice like they had already found the answer to the problem and were just wearing a “fat suit” three days a week for laughs.
Anyway, let’s get on with our topic. Now, we all heard that if we cut out the sweets, the bread, anything granola, all bananas and so on;
we thought about giving you folks the same advice…..but then we’d kill ourselves from boredom :)

We’re gonna give you something even better. Why give you ‘sensible’ when we can be brutal? ;)


Here we go —- “Top 4 Most Popular Diet Fads”

Coming in 4^th place~
The Grapefruit Diet

For those new to the scene, this particular one is normally called the “Hollywood” diet; you would eat and drink NOTHING but this fruit with the occasional bacon and eggs. It’s time tag is 10 to 12 days with a 2 day reprieve.
It’s perfect for women who think that their 10 extra pounds is really 100lbs, like they can’t add. I don’t know how anyone can substitute everything in the food pyramid for one piece of fruit….


In 3^rd place~
The Tapeworm Diet

These little parasites enter the body through raw meat and can travel through the body by BM once they have done their jobs; the plus is that they eat the calories for every piece of food you consume.

And now for the negative —- since it’s a parasite, it can consume not only the calories but every bit of the vitamins and nutrients needed to function; there’s also the possibility of it swimming in other places than your stomach. Thank GOD it’s banned in the U.S. You don’t wanna know the side-effects.

The only way to get rid of it fully is to be prescribed antibiotics so it can kill any eggs left behind.
It goes without saying that I WON’T be using this one.


2^nd place~
The Liquid Diet

This was a mixture of four different kinds of diet trends. There’s the Master Cleanse used by Beyoncé containing either tea or lemonade mixed with maple syrup and cayenne peppers,
the Ketogenic Enteral Nutrition (KEN) used to preventing sudden epilepsy in children [and before you say anything about this is an injection product, it’s STILL liquid];
a concoction of boiled hooves and hides,
and lastly, guzzling down water for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
NO WAY am I gonna attempt this! Like I tell everybody that offers the vegan route —- in order for me to stick with it, I would have to start when I was first born. Food, ACTUAL solid food; is too good for me to give up.


And in 1^st place~
The Cabbage Soup Diet

A low-calorie meal that goes on for seven days with new add-on food groups for each day consisting of either Vegetables [sparingly], Potatoes [sparingly], Beef [sparingly], Skim milk [once], Fruit [sparingly —- bananas = once], and Brown rice [once].

….Ok.
I get the Skim milk one cuz it gives people gas [I know it does to me….], but I cannot have beef whenever the damn diet says I can have it. If I’m craving it, then fuck off!
And did you notice that there were no sweets mentioned throughout this whole thing?! Ladies, what if it’s our time of the month? You REALLY gonna sit there and slurp this new form of rabbit food and hope it deters you from the M&M’s and the Peanut Butter ice cream….well, power to ya! Cuz I’m gonna be the one taunting your ass.


And that’s it.
I know, we could’ve put more but the tally had ended up splitting the placements.
The ‘English’ Translation —— two diet fads tied in 5^th place, four had tied in 6^th place and so on and so forth. And you can imagine how many they were for Honorable Mentions…..but if you’re REALLY that curious, this rant must have more than 100 views in the first two (2) weeks on FB to read about the most strange and idiotic diet fads now in existence.

If you have invented one yourself, leave them at the bottom of this post.

That’s the end of this week’s rant.
Remember to view our Mini-Rants on FB and be sure to spread the good news around!

T*S*E Rant~ Xmas Gift-giving

Welcome to our debut of our new segment~
T*S*E  Rants

More craziness, just renamed.

This update will be what I had previewed on “WTF?!”
As far as my holidays went, it was civil {i.e. boring}. The most life we had was the gift-giving --- or lack thereof; what pisses me off the most other than CP time is when there are gonna be one or two extra people unaccounted for. Two years ago, I didn’t have a job so I couldn’t spring for gifts {and at those times, I miss being a kid….just make a card out of confetti and Cray paper and they’ll love it cuz you’re a kid that don’t know any better}. The year after, I only had just started my gig 3 months before Christmas; I was pardoned.

THIS year, I had no excuses.

My budget for each person, excluding two {not the unknown guests}, was $20.
And be thankful I could spare that since they upped my hours at work.
I had gotten some decent stuff, but still this merriment only served to irritate me. Remember when I said we had two other people that showed up? Well, of course I had no gifts for them; I was revered as the ‘bad guy’ of the family --- that’s nothing new with my judgmental kin, but who’s fault was it that I didn’t find out til the day of when all my cash was run out?
I’m not a fucking physic!

Anyway, let me get to the main reason behind this rant entitled:
Gifts you KNOW they really don’t give a fuck!

Warning~
I will be mentioning a GREAT deal that’s gonna make you mad {possibly if you’re overly sensitive}. You can quit reading at any time!

>:(  = Gift Cards/Cash
The first gift I got basically as soon as I walked through the door.
I get that MOST would be happy with these {especially the givers}, but to me it shows you didn’t bother to use your precious brain power to think of something geared towards me!
Anyone in my life who cared would’ve known I love ripping the paper as much as wrapping w/ it; why the hell would you give me cash! What, you think that because it’s in an envelope and I can rip that I’d be satisfied? Believe me, there’s DEFINITELY something I want to rip open, and it’s not a Christmas present.

And another thing, gift cards ARE convenient --- I’ll admit that one --- only IF you give one they’ll actually USE!! I mean, what kind of person would I be if I gave a $50 Bally’s Gym card to a friend that is past the borderline of ‘overweight’ when I know damn well she likes to shop at F.Y.E. for horror movies? Or if someone gave me a $20 card to Olive Garden when they see me eating at Burger King? Not only are you wasting money, but now you just ticked those people off! Be thankful that all they do is take their gift back from you and never speak to you again.

>:(  = Re-gifting
If you got a great memory like me when it comes to the ‘wow’ factor, you don’t want to do repeats.
That’s EXACTLY what I and my friend would’ve done with the gift cards if we can dig them out of that person’s backside. We will repeatedly give them to someone who will use them.

Which brings up our next sub-category----

>:(  = ‘Gifting’ for yourself
Where you give a gift you KNOW they’re gonna hate when you really bought it for you to use.
Seriously, instead of plotting and scheming to get it from that kind friend by ‘convincing’ them to give it back; save you fucking money and actually get to KNOW the person you’re buying for.

>:(  = Present Combo
Just. NO!
To sum up my meaning here’s a little fact from my family.
I have a cousin who’s literally born on Christmas Day {whereas I was born on Thanksgiving in ’83 but it’s ever changing} and every year, my family decides to be cheap!
You know what I’m talking about. I’m sure you have met or know someone personally that has that same dilemma of being born on a national holiday; I’m sure you hear from them the same thing I’m griping about. Thankfully, I was not part of THAT scheme since I was buying my own gifts this year; I gave my dear 19-yr-old male relative two and wrapped one of them with ‘Happy B-Day’ paper --- just so he knows I didn’t forget.

For those who STILL don’t understand, here’s an equation for ya~
 

December 25^th {ANY year} = The birth of the Lord Jesus
December 25^th {ANY year} = The birth of Friend/Loved One

Jesus = Entity
Friend/Loved One = Human

FINAL SUM~
two different beings +two different B-days = two different presents

GET IT?!?!

And that’s all for this rant.
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Chow for now :P