T*S*E Rant ~ Crushes

I know I said in my last Mini-Rant that I’ll be revealing the shortcuts to raising one’s Credit Score; and I SWEAR to you I’m still working on that but this subject I need to get out.

This is usually Frankie D’s thing {my co-host if any of y’all remember her}, however this is something that needs to go in depth at some point…..

I, for one; will be the first person to tell you that I’m VERY insecure.
Been “husky” since I reached puberty and have been in the minority {if at all on radar} when it comes to the opposite sex. So I have very little experience with guys in general. This has caused me to have The “Princess” Effect ---- for those who aren’t hip to the term it means that I still believe in the Prince Charming and that ANY guy that shows the SLIGHTEST interest in me that he must be “the one”.

Yeah, dudes…..
Run for the hills if you see me in your hometown.

I also realize it’s due to the fact that I didn’t date that I have these thoughts; and of course I’m not the only one suffering from this disease that repeatedly hurts us vulnerable women {and men} just looking for that “soul mate”.

The reason I bring this up?
While there is no cure for it, one can create ways to avoid The “Princess” Effect when talking to a guy/girl you like and not fall for them when they just wanna know where the bathroom is ;)

Here’s how I cope~
Though you want that ‘perfect’ mate to appear, you gotta know that it takes time. Start first with getting to know YOU before you think about a relationship.

Example: I know I can get easily jealous {hello….insecure}, so any guy I work with is strictly off-limits. I would say that goes for your school chums but reality check ---- you got time to find them at other places if you’re not a social butterfly. I also have a temper when I feel like someone’s trying to embarrass me in any way or verbally fight me on a subject I KNOW I’m right on {and believe me, if I did the research on it or been doing it since I was 4 [i.e. writing] then I’m gonna fight you tooth and nail!}

Once you have an idea of ‘you’ ---- cuz you’re gonna find out later that there are parts of you that you yourself didn’t know existed~
Figure out what you will tolerate; I know it’s part of ‘getting to know you’ however we’re putting it in a separate category b/c you’ll be using this tool towards finding your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Example: I’m not immune to ‘crushes’ even at 30, but I’m smart about it. There were times that I would’ve broken my own rule about no dating at the workplace {I’ll let you figure out why I’m against it on your own} ---- until I got to know the guys in question. One was a Narcissist and another was fiercely loyal to God and his sister.

I know my personality is passive at times AND I have depression, while having self-confidence is important there’s also a thing called modesty. I may not need to be reminded each day that I’m beautiful, I don’t need to have a Vanity Smurf in my midst either making myself feel even worse like I don’t measure up in some way {they don’t say it, but they show it by their actions that they think that they ARE better than everyone else}.
As for dude #2, it’s great that he puts God and family first in his mind, but over time {if you’re like me} you’ll want the guy to pay you SOME regard and not jump every time the next of kin snap their fingers. I saw this kind of loyalty in myself at a time when it was me and my father against the world, and in some ways because of that; it killed him physically and me emotionally to the point that I no longer trust ANY of my daddy’s relatives. Long story short, I know where this guy’s gonna end up and I WILL NOT be going to that place again.

And lastly~
Show some more patience!
You waited this long {some more than others}, don’t fall into the trap of ‘since my friends have a significant other….’ or ‘the clock is ticking’.
You’ll KNOW when it’s time to get your feet wet or explore options.

Example: I haven’t had a date since ’08 however I look at the dudes I had attracted. I’m adding a couple more things to the list of “what I WON’T tolerate”.

BIG ISSUSE! = I maybe Black but I don’t run on CP time; even if that day I’m just gonna sit around the house and let dishes pile up ---- that’s still MY time, so if your ass says you’re gonna meet me somewhere at 12pm; YOU BETTER BE THERE! I don’t let this kind of shit slide unless you don’t have my digits to call or text me to let me know you’re running late or cancelling all together.

DEAL BREAKER #2 = I KNOW I’m being played when a guy don’t talk to me from 6 months to a year and a half and call me up like we just talked a week ago. I look naïve but it’s THOSE kinds of people you don’t wanna fuck with.
Telling me that you lost your cell in a basement? This generation can’t function w/o digital contact, that’s number one.
Number two, you, dude; have a 12-year-old daughter {I normally leave those alone for 2 reasons: Baby Mommas and pending stage of puberty [cuz most kids are used to “Mommy and Daddy” not “Daddy and new chick taking Daddy’s love and affection” or “Mommy and new dude trying to take over the house”]}, how the hell is the school gonna contact you in emergencies if they can’t reach you?!

DEAL BREAKER #3 = Since I have fierce loyalty to people that don’t screw me over in some way {my rule book has A LOT of complexity in it}, I expect the same. Thank GOD I haven’t done time for mutilation {not murder cuz NOBODY’s worth you messing up your future}, but if I find my man cheating; there’s no going back for him. That’s it! I look at it like this: there’s something the other girl/guy had that I didn’t that you wanted, so there you go. Also, once a cheater ---- always a cheater; IF I take you back, how do I know you won’t cheat on me two weeks later? Two years later? Two KIDS later?

My point in this is that going through all this has given me clarity and I know that in this stage of my life I don’t want it right now ---- plus I feel like I don’t have anything to “bring to the table”. The only time I left MD on my own was when I had quit my Ma and Nana in that blowout I had with them; I know I wanna be well-rounded even if it’s only having some knowledge of other states.

So let me wrap this up for y’all neatly~
Do ‘you’ before getting in a relationship, YOU decide when you’re ready for the dating scene; and make your “Hot or Not” list for personality traits that you can live with.
Don’t forget your deal breakers and be sure to STICK to them firmly, letting the guy/girl get away with them will be a disaster in the end.

Remember, the one’s I’ve listed are entirely my own due to my experiences and beliefs. Feel free to use them as a structured guide but try to come up with some that’s your own, k? :D

Stay Tuned to T*S*E for more rants and bear with me as I put together the “Portfolio of Credit Scores”.

T*S*E Rant ~ Diet Fads

Hiya, fans ;)
This discussion hits most Americans…..Diet Fads.

For years, I hated the way I looked. I envisioned having a fun house mirror in all angles in my room. I remember my high school experience when it came to “fitting in”, and it was no wonder I didn’t bother to make friends in certain circles; and the last time I was close to an average weight was when I was five.  My past motivations were to get into a size eight to wear trendy clothes and land a boyfriend{….Hey, don’t laugh; at the age of fourteen that was everything! ;) }. To clear things up now, NEVER use the “man” card as your reference to help you slim down and the same goes for the big men reading this when finding a woman.  It’s a waste of time and heartache to try and change for the sake of a future mate who won’t even look at you until one has lost more than a fraction of a pound.


If that has happened already, ask yourself this~
where was all this attention when you were eating fried chicken morning, noon, and night? —- Think about it.

Also, the most favorable of motivation killers for me is the co-workers who love to give out advice, just to give meaning in their lives. I have been through it all, most of them involve giving me self-help books and tapes but the rest was just flapping their gums.
One of my pet peeves when concerning the ‘battle of the bulge’ was other hefty people giving advice like they had already found the answer to the problem and were just wearing a “fat suit” three days a week for laughs.
Anyway, let’s get on with our topic. Now, we all heard that if we cut out the sweets, the bread, anything granola, all bananas and so on;
we thought about giving you folks the same advice…..but then we’d kill ourselves from boredom :)

We’re gonna give you something even better. Why give you ‘sensible’ when we can be brutal? ;)


Here we go —- “Top 4 Most Popular Diet Fads”

Coming in 4^th place~
The Grapefruit Diet

For those new to the scene, this particular one is normally called the “Hollywood” diet; you would eat and drink NOTHING but this fruit with the occasional bacon and eggs. It’s time tag is 10 to 12 days with a 2 day reprieve.
It’s perfect for women who think that their 10 extra pounds is really 100lbs, like they can’t add. I don’t know how anyone can substitute everything in the food pyramid for one piece of fruit….


In 3^rd place~
The Tapeworm Diet

These little parasites enter the body through raw meat and can travel through the body by BM once they have done their jobs; the plus is that they eat the calories for every piece of food you consume.

And now for the negative —- since it’s a parasite, it can consume not only the calories but every bit of the vitamins and nutrients needed to function; there’s also the possibility of it swimming in other places than your stomach. Thank GOD it’s banned in the U.S. You don’t wanna know the side-effects.

The only way to get rid of it fully is to be prescribed antibiotics so it can kill any eggs left behind.
It goes without saying that I WON’T be using this one.


2^nd place~
The Liquid Diet

This was a mixture of four different kinds of diet trends. There’s the Master Cleanse used by Beyoncé containing either tea or lemonade mixed with maple syrup and cayenne peppers,
the Ketogenic Enteral Nutrition (KEN) used to preventing sudden epilepsy in children [and before you say anything about this is an injection product, it’s STILL liquid];
a concoction of boiled hooves and hides,
and lastly, guzzling down water for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
NO WAY am I gonna attempt this! Like I tell everybody that offers the vegan route —- in order for me to stick with it, I would have to start when I was first born. Food, ACTUAL solid food; is too good for me to give up.


And in 1^st place~
The Cabbage Soup Diet

A low-calorie meal that goes on for seven days with new add-on food groups for each day consisting of either Vegetables [sparingly], Potatoes [sparingly], Beef [sparingly], Skim milk [once], Fruit [sparingly —- bananas = once], and Brown rice [once].

….Ok.
I get the Skim milk one cuz it gives people gas [I know it does to me….], but I cannot have beef whenever the damn diet says I can have it. If I’m craving it, then fuck off!
And did you notice that there were no sweets mentioned throughout this whole thing?! Ladies, what if it’s our time of the month? You REALLY gonna sit there and slurp this new form of rabbit food and hope it deters you from the M&M’s and the Peanut Butter ice cream….well, power to ya! Cuz I’m gonna be the one taunting your ass.


And that’s it.
I know, we could’ve put more but the tally had ended up splitting the placements.
The ‘English’ Translation —— two diet fads tied in 5^th place, four had tied in 6^th place and so on and so forth. And you can imagine how many they were for Honorable Mentions…..but if you’re REALLY that curious, this rant must have more than 100 views in the first two (2) weeks on FB to read about the most strange and idiotic diet fads now in existence.

If you have invented one yourself, leave them at the bottom of this post.

That’s the end of this week’s rant.
Remember to view our Mini-Rants on FB and be sure to spread the good news around!

T*S*E Rant~ Xmas Gift-giving

Welcome to our debut of our new segment~
T*S*E  Rants

More craziness, just renamed.

This update will be what I had previewed on “WTF?!”
As far as my holidays went, it was civil {i.e. boring}. The most life we had was the gift-giving --- or lack thereof; what pisses me off the most other than CP time is when there are gonna be one or two extra people unaccounted for. Two years ago, I didn’t have a job so I couldn’t spring for gifts {and at those times, I miss being a kid….just make a card out of confetti and Cray paper and they’ll love it cuz you’re a kid that don’t know any better}. The year after, I only had just started my gig 3 months before Christmas; I was pardoned.

THIS year, I had no excuses.

My budget for each person, excluding two {not the unknown guests}, was $20.
And be thankful I could spare that since they upped my hours at work.
I had gotten some decent stuff, but still this merriment only served to irritate me. Remember when I said we had two other people that showed up? Well, of course I had no gifts for them; I was revered as the ‘bad guy’ of the family --- that’s nothing new with my judgmental kin, but who’s fault was it that I didn’t find out til the day of when all my cash was run out?
I’m not a fucking physic!

Anyway, let me get to the main reason behind this rant entitled:
Gifts you KNOW they really don’t give a fuck!

Warning~
I will be mentioning a GREAT deal that’s gonna make you mad {possibly if you’re overly sensitive}. You can quit reading at any time!

>:(  = Gift Cards/Cash
The first gift I got basically as soon as I walked through the door.
I get that MOST would be happy with these {especially the givers}, but to me it shows you didn’t bother to use your precious brain power to think of something geared towards me!
Anyone in my life who cared would’ve known I love ripping the paper as much as wrapping w/ it; why the hell would you give me cash! What, you think that because it’s in an envelope and I can rip that I’d be satisfied? Believe me, there’s DEFINITELY something I want to rip open, and it’s not a Christmas present.

And another thing, gift cards ARE convenient --- I’ll admit that one --- only IF you give one they’ll actually USE!! I mean, what kind of person would I be if I gave a $50 Bally’s Gym card to a friend that is past the borderline of ‘overweight’ when I know damn well she likes to shop at F.Y.E. for horror movies? Or if someone gave me a $20 card to Olive Garden when they see me eating at Burger King? Not only are you wasting money, but now you just ticked those people off! Be thankful that all they do is take their gift back from you and never speak to you again.

>:(  = Re-gifting
If you got a great memory like me when it comes to the ‘wow’ factor, you don’t want to do repeats.
That’s EXACTLY what I and my friend would’ve done with the gift cards if we can dig them out of that person’s backside. We will repeatedly give them to someone who will use them.

Which brings up our next sub-category----

>:(  = ‘Gifting’ for yourself
Where you give a gift you KNOW they’re gonna hate when you really bought it for you to use.
Seriously, instead of plotting and scheming to get it from that kind friend by ‘convincing’ them to give it back; save you fucking money and actually get to KNOW the person you’re buying for.

>:(  = Present Combo
Just. NO!
To sum up my meaning here’s a little fact from my family.
I have a cousin who’s literally born on Christmas Day {whereas I was born on Thanksgiving in ’83 but it’s ever changing} and every year, my family decides to be cheap!
You know what I’m talking about. I’m sure you have met or know someone personally that has that same dilemma of being born on a national holiday; I’m sure you hear from them the same thing I’m griping about. Thankfully, I was not part of THAT scheme since I was buying my own gifts this year; I gave my dear 19-yr-old male relative two and wrapped one of them with ‘Happy B-Day’ paper --- just so he knows I didn’t forget.

For those who STILL don’t understand, here’s an equation for ya~
 

December 25^th {ANY year} = The birth of the Lord Jesus
December 25^th {ANY year} = The birth of Friend/Loved One

Jesus = Entity
Friend/Loved One = Human

FINAL SUM~
two different beings +two different B-days = two different presents

GET IT?!?!

And that’s all for this rant.
Want more?
Make sure you keep your eyes peeled for our Mini-Rants featured ONLY on FB, Tumblr and Google+

Chow for now :P

T*S*E Rant ~ Watercolor Memories pt. 2

Here we go --- the final update of “Off the ‘Spice’ Rack” for two (2) whole months :(
I just KNOW you guys are broken up about it {….right}; but my attention has been shifting to other projects like that story that I’ve been hinting forever and a day.
The ones about my Dad and the mentioned ‘sneak peeks’ of the book….

It’s time I start making a dent in it. That’s one of the reasons for the hiatus period; the other is that my family will be traveling this winter for the upcoming holidays starting with my 30^th Birthday being celebrated in my home state MD. Interested? Well, too bad! It’s invite only :P
Of course, if it were up to me I wouldn’t bother acknowledging that I’m getting old by society standards and just skip to the week in NYC; but such is life.

Here’s the good news {depends if you like these segments, then we just made your day}!
The monthly updates --- Anime of the Month/CK’s Fashion Tip of the Month --- will still continue; I figured that I don’t REALLY have an excuse to put them on the backburner since I can add to those each day until perfected; plus we’re still in proceedings with Fashion Tips seven (7) through eleven (11).

Also, I got in touch with my co-host, Frankie D; and she has informed me that she will continue her segment ‘Being Real: Sex, Lies and Drama’ however don’t expect her updates to be on Thursdays. She now has full reign of this page I created for her posts and will add her thoughts of wisdom whenever she chooses. If you want her to update more frequently, make some noise!

As for the old posts, you know the drill.
The link will be released next Monday. They will stay open and displayed on social networks Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and Tumblr.

Now that that’s out of the way, onward to part 2 of Watercolor Memories; an extra LONG one, just for you guys. Sit back, relax & enjoy the trip down memory lane.

If you recall, I had listed the top offenders of movies that had warped our childhoods in some way by means of hidden messages that we couldn’t comprehend while young --- now for the other half of the ‘conspiracy’.
I had found this link on Likes.com that was more humorous than corrupting in my opinion. Let’s begin with this one~

Motorized Ice Cream Cone
>I think we had this thing around because they were A) fun to collect due to different colors and B) it was ‘recyclable’ {i.e. can be used over and over after one wash and fresh batteries instead of stocking up on edible cones @ $10.99 a box}. Though I do get why this was debatable as a whole --- batteries were MORE expensive.

Bread Gloves
>Yeah….this is one of the one’s that made a person think “what was the creator smokin’/snortin’ to come up with this?”
Let’s hope no fingers were lost due to it {although, they deserved it if they ACTUALLY spent money on this}; I did like the .com’s wrap up of the ‘sister products Bread Shoes and Bread Condom’ :D

The Wine Rack
>The most inexpensive ‘Boob Job’ on the market & best for sneaking alcohol to minors. I know perverted Security Guards and Bouncers of dances and clubs are grateful to the company that endorsed this product w/o calling attention to Sexual Harassment.

"I Poop Glitter"
>If you look closely at the picture, you can see this isn’t a solo product as Barbie’s arm is shown in the corner {like having a doll with its own doll}. Honestly, this wasn’t so different from Dog Walker Barbie with the dog doing its ‘business’.

The Comfort Wipe
>Once upon a time this was made only for the Elderly that still had functioning bowels and Disables who couldn’t reach all that well to clean themselves; they made a point that its misuse nowadays are people who refuse to diminish Diabetes and Heart Disease by cutting Mickey D’s down to once a month.

Crap
>No, really.
This one was hilarious because of the summary they used {meant to be both literal and figurative}; I laughed for a good 10min. :)

The French Fry Holder
>Again revisiting the Obesity problem….there really isn’t anything I can say about it that hasn’t been said in the synopsis.

American Shreds
> If I didn’t see the picture that went with it, my first thought would’ve been newspaper clippings at the bottom of a cage {you pick the animal}. As it is, I still don’t get why the word ‘cheese’ is apparently so offensive since it was never used to describe the product.

Hello Kitty Assault Rifle
>I don’t know what’s more upsetting to me: The fact that this was manufactured for actual combat or that this made it and Lisa Frank didn’t {I know most of you are saying ‘who?’ --- I get that same reaction at my workplace. LF was before your time if you were born in the late ‘90s}.
If you can guess, Hello Kitty products are not my fave >:(

Creepiest Chocolates Ever
>Tis that season.
You want to know HOW creepy? Find out for yourself ;)
I will say this: I always thought Tales from the Crypt was freaky….this blew it out of the water.

Shnitzel Candle
>I personally love the smell of Jelly Beans. Everyone has something to soothe them; don’t start worrying unless they come out with a candle that has the scent of Toilet Water or Vomit like Harry Potter’s Burtie [sp?] Botts Every Flavor Beans.

Ghost Turds
>….You wouldn’t believe me if I’d told you.

Full-Body Knitted Suit
>For the first-time crafters. They had asked the question “How does one use the bathroom while wearing it?”; here’s another:
How’d he get the damn thing on? It doesn’t look like it stretches.

Hyper-Realistic Sex Dolls
>Having the whole package instead of vibrating genitals or a balloon Booty filled w/ warm water for effect. You know what’s better? Actually getting some from a REAL human being.
Also, I hear these things give one a nasty shock causing blisters.

Lenny Kravitz's Gigantic Scarf
>Name sounds familiar….been awhile since he’s done anything worth remembering. Still, this bizarre trend was remembered by somebody to end up #1 on this list.

And now, the link to this list called “Products That Really Shouldn’t Exist”~
http://likes.com/comedy/products-that-really-shouldnt-exist?pid=105960

The first half was just for “shits and giggles”, the rest to follow will have some of you being more choosey with what to purchase for your kids this upcoming Christmas. Remember, just because these toys are no longer on the market doesn’t mean that the dangers haven’t passed. I was just gonna do the standard ‘top ten’ but since I did say this would be the last update for a while, why not list them all? ;)
Mind you, the products mentioned are the ones that were frequently repeated online and have no true origin~

Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle
Cause of Injury: twisted intestines; Reason: throttle sticks
*This was how most of us got the jump-start on learning how to drive at an early age. Ultimately from my POV this vehicle was no threat if it was used on flat ground like the backyard instead of on top of a hill w/o Adult Supervision.

Battlestar Galactica Missle Launcher
Cause of Injury: impaired vision, torn intestines, choking hazard, death; Reason: ingestion, launch spring mechanism
*Classic tale of again lack of Adult Supervision plus adding the factor of a child’s curiosity. I would put in an argument of if the kid knew about ‘common sense’ but seeing as how I myself swallowed a marble during a time at an age where I knew better and only did it to see if I CAN; I’d be a hypocrite.

Johnny Reb Cannon
Cause of Injury: impaired vision, choking hazard; Reason: launch spring mechanism
*Never heard of this toy; might’ve been before my time….maybe they were all the rage when they talked about WWI and WWII in history class.

Creepy Crawlers
Cause of Injury: 1^st to 3^rd degree burns, toxins; Reason: arson, ingestion
*Now here’s something from my past. To this day, I can recall the theme song for the commercial; real big hit with the boys mostly {unless one’s a tomboy}. I’m surprised that the stench of melted plastic didn’t give the parents a clue of the dangers involved; said so on the box “Requires Adult Supervision”. I’m guessing this was allowed to stay on shelves at the time cuz it kept the kids quiet :P

Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun
Cause of Injury: 1^st degree burns; Reason: friction towards lower regions
*Another toy before my time cuz I’m PRETTY sure I would’ve heard of the cause/effect of this on the playground {hell I still remember that news report of a woman cutting off her husband’s penis….and I was 9-years-old at the time!}, I also had cousins that were obsessed with all-things ‘action’ and any type of gun would’ve been right up their alley.

Sky Dancers
Cause of Injury: temporary blindness, broken ribs, chipped/broken teeth, facial laceration, mild concussions; Reason: launch spring mechanism
*So far, this is only proving the point that parents REALLY need to watch their children during play time. Why the hell would they put this near their bodies with the speed these toys were generating?! Plus at that age, some of them were still learning to read so they missed the warnings indicating to aim AWAY from the face and body….

Snack Time Cabbage Patch Dolls
Cause of Injury: dismembered fingers; Reason: motorized mechanism {grind gears in the mouth}
*Many have also lost bits of hair but I felt that wasn’t a big crisis compared to only having a total count of nine (9) fingers or less.
The makers of CP’s should’ve stuck to their merchandise made out of just stuffing and thread; if that had happened to me, Ma and Daddy would’ve seen to it that they’d get MORE than a measly refund.

Mini Hammocks
Cause of Injury: asphyxiation, death; Reason: entanglement
*I haven’t even gone through half of this list and I’m still repeating myself --- these need Adult Supervision!
Why would you trust your toddler to be in this manufactured ‘spider’s web’ by themselves? But it’s not just them sadly….some of the age of pre-teen and up have fallen victim to it as well. They couldn’t recall these fast enough.

Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
Cause of Injury: radiation poisoning; Reason: radioactive {Uranium}
*The kids who had survived it unscaved were the lucky ones….not sure if they suffered later in Adult years {like reproduction problems} though.

Lawn Darts/ ‘Jarts’
Cause of Injury: blindness, facial laceration, body laceration, death; Reason: sharp projectiles
*A product that didn’t stick around long enough in the ‘80s, wouldn’t have known this existed since I was born in the 1983.

Red Ryder BB Gun
Cause of Injury: Do I really need to say it? :P ; Reason: launch spring mechanism of small projectiles
*I might as well for those who don’t know this phrase {if that’s the case --- WTF?! How do you NOT know this? The movie’s on EVERY year on ABC’s 25 Days of Christmas if one of your family members don’t already own it….they even made a sequel for crying out loud!} that associates with it~

“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!”

There. I said it.
However, the recall wasn’t just for this particular gun. Others like this product were pulled as well; which is why you don’t see them in Dollar Stores anymore because the ones that really fell victim to the BB guns were friends and loved ones more so than the shooter.

Slip ‘N’ Slide
Cause of Injury: dislocated shoulder, broken bones; Reason: non-grip surface {duh!}
*They had a vid on YT that had a title of how this girl got killed when using a make-shift one with blue tarps and the driveway. The title was misleading of course but I did see the aftermath of it when one of the kids slammed into another while using it.

Agent Zero M Sonic Blaster
Cause of Injury: deafness; Reason: launch spring mechanism
*Though full of air {literally}, it has caused this injury due to it being so bulky it had to be handled by supporting it on one’s shoulder next to the right/left ear depending on your dominate hand.

Swing Wing
Cause of Injury: vertigo, neck strain; Reason: physical strain
*This was mentioned and demonstrated in a show called “Ed, Edd & Eddy” called ‘Whiz Whaz’ {the name’s stupid, but the toy was a hit in the neighborhood} in case you guys want better than a mental picture of a metal helmet with a heavy tetherball attached to it.
They did bring this concept back though --- in the form of “Skip It”; back then, the biggest worry we had was tripping over it and falling flat on our face while playing with it.

CSI: Fingerprint Examination Kit
Cause of Injury: lung cancer, mesothelioma, dyspnea {shortness of breath}; Reason: asbestos
*It was because of this show that a lot of us went into this field {not me though --- I suck in all things science}. We were so focused on creating junior crime catchers we failed to give them something harmless to use when dusting for fingerprints.

Magnetix
Cause of Injury: twisted intestines, choking hazard, death; Reason: ingestion
*Sadly, I still see this product from time to time in stores under another name.
These attack the intestines by attaching themselves inside the walls. There is on record 34 injuries and one (1) death of a 22-month-old before action was taken.

Inflatable Baby Boats
Cause of Injury: near-drowning; Reason: faulty equipment
*Sometimes I wonder if they actually Beta-test this junk before releasing it to the public….
The harnesses to the thing easily erode that causes infants to slide through; took their sweet time getting this stuff off the shelves.

Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game
Cause of Injury: lead poisoning; Reason: lead {again…duh!}
*Are we sure it wasn’t because of the CHARACTER herself that was the real threat? As you can guess, I’m not a Miley Cyrus fan {and it was WAY before her ‘new image’}.
Anyway, the game was so hiked up on lead it had lasting long-term effects for people in close proximity. However since it still met regulations no matter how poisonous it was, it remained on the shelves until Miley herself destroyed her credibility.

Aqua Dots
Cause of Injury: GHB; Reason: ingestion
*For those not familiar with this abbreviation the common name is Date Rape Drug.
When the kids that swallowed it began to vomit or go into a coma-like state, it rose up the red flag.

Austin Magic Pistol
Cause of Injury: arson, 1^st degree burns; Reason: core combustion {calcium carbide}
*The distant cousin of the BB guns so you know it’s ‘potential’.
Adding “Magic Powder” with a touch of water and you too can have the world’s miniature dynamite.

Easy-Bake Oven
Cause of Injury: 3^rd degree burns; Reason: arson
*I was actually surprised by this one. Here’s the proof that some things are better off just being left alone.

Cinderella Battery Powered Toy Car
Cause of Injury: arson, 1^st degree burns; Reason: defective battery compartment
*Another car of destruction; this time it’s the preverbal ‘hot seat’.
Research indicated that this toy had no safe outlet for the engine to disperse the access heat, so where else could it go but up a little girl’s backside?

Trek Girl’s Bike
Cause of Injury: near-fractured/near-broken bones; Reason: faulty equipment
*Like these things weren’t dangerous enough when learning HOW to ride them --- although, this does remind me of something from my past.
[SIDE TRACKING] I had an active imagination; since Mom and Dad wouldn’t get me one of these motorized cars {glad they didn’t….} I wanted to build one of my own. We went to Home Depot for supplies and I fell in love w/ a certain wood {can’t recall the name of it}. My Dad had informed me that if I had used it, when it rained the car would go to pieces.
Right after he said that, my Ma made this comment~
 

“Imagine that it rains and the car falls apart….”

Yeah --- this bike’s like that, only it didn’t need the water to fall apart.

Professor Wacko’s Exothermic Exuberance
Cause of Injury: arson; Reason: combustion
*Wouldn’t it just be easier to say it’s called a science kit in the study of heat and fire? Then MAYBE it would’ve been yanked off the market sooner.

Manley Toys Disco Ball
Cause of Injury: arson; Reason: faulty equipment
*You could find this at any party company or Dollar Store a long time ago once they pulled them from the Chuck E. Cheese’s counters. This ball of wonders should never be left unattended unless you want to claim insurance fraud.

Well, there you have it. Eight (8) pages dedicated to pure terror of ‘kid-dom’. I’m afraid history’s repeating itself when it comes to the latest and greatest toys of the millennium.

Sorry again for the late delay. Remember that BR: S/L/D will update, just not always on Thursday.

Be here on Friday for my Fashion Tip ;)
 
See you then!